Click on the questions below to reveal each respective answer.
Funerals and memorial services fill an important role for those mourning the loss of a loved one. By providing surviving family and friends with an atmosphere of care and support in which to share thoughts and feelings about death, funerals are the first step in the healing process. It is the traditional way to recognize the finality of death. Funerals are time-honored rituals for the living to show their respect for the dead and to help survivors begin the grieving process.
For families choosing cremation, a traditional funeral may be held with cremation to follow. Or, a memorial service may be planned after cremation with the same benefits of honoring the deceased and helping the family and loved ones to begin the grief and healing process. Planning a personalized ceremony or service will help begin the healing process. Overcoming the pain is never easy, but a meaningful funeral or tribute will help.
Call the funeral home (or ask the health care or hospice provider to do so) to notify the funeral home. When the funeral home staff arrives, they will ask you to consider a time frame for coming to the funeral home to make arrangements. These items are helpful to think about before meeting to make arrangements:
IYour funeral director will come when the time is right for you. Some families prefer a little quiet time with the deceased before the transport to the funeral home is made. Others prefer that the funeral home respond immediately. In either situation, your request will be honored.
Burial in a casket is the most traditional method of disposing of remains in the United States. Cremation is also becoming a popular option since it allows for the memorial service to be held at a more convenient time in the future when relatives and friends can come together. Whether traditional burial or cremation is chosen, the importance of a funeral service or memorial service should not be overlooked.
A funeral service followed by cremation need not be any different from a funeral service followed by a burial and allows for family members and friends to honor the deceased as well as begin to come to terms with their own loss. Each individual family must make the decision between traditional burial and cremation based on the wishes of the deceased and their own personal choices. When considering this decision, there are many details that the funeral home can provide as you work through the process.
Viewing is a part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe that viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity is voluntary. Public viewing can especially be very reassuring for the family and friends of a loved one who has experienced a lengthy illness or traumatic event.
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body. Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them.
The Federal Trade Commission says, "Except in certain special cases, embalming is not required by law. Embalming may be necessary, however, if you select certain funeral arrangements, such as a funeral with viewing. If you do not want embalming, you usually have the right to choose an arrangement that does not require you to pay for it, such as direct cremation or immediate burial."
When compared to the cost of other major life events such as births and weddings, funerals are not overly costly. For example, a wedding may cost much more, but one may not really think of that comparison since weddings are joyous events. While funerals--and even more progressive celebrations of life--are sad in comparison to other life events, they are the final tribute our loved ones.
Additionally, maintaining a quality funeral home requires significant resources. A funeral home is a 24-hour, labor-intensive business, with extensive facilities (viewing rooms, chapels, vehicles, hearses, etc.), and these expenses must be factored into the cost of a funeral.
The cost of a funeral includes not only merchandise, such as the casket, but the services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing required forms; working with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers and others; and seeing to all the necessary details. Funeral directors look upon their profession first and foremost as a service, but it is also a business. As with any business, funeral homes must make a reasonable profit to support their families as well as continue to serve the public.
It really depends entirely on how you wish to commemorate a life. One of the advantages of cremation is that it provides you with increased flexibility when you make your funeral and cemetery arrangements. You might, for example, choose to have a funeral service before the cremation; a memorial service at the time of cremation or after the cremation with the urn present; or a committal service at the final disposition of cremated remains. Funeral or memorial services can be held in a place of worship, a funeral home or in a crematory chapel. Cremation allows more time to plan the services to be held and what to include.
With cremation, your options are numerous. The cremains can be interred in a cemetery plot, i.e., earth burial, retained by a family member, usually in an urn, scattered on private property, or at a place that was significant to the deceased. (It would always be advisable to check for local regulations regarding scattering in a public place-your funeral director can help you with this.)
Today, there are many different types of memorial options from which to choose. Memorialization is a time-honored tradition that has been practiced for centuries. A memorial serves as a tribute to a life lived and provides a focal point for remembrance, as well as a record for future generations. The type of memorial you choose is a personal decision.
You might choose ground burial of the urn. If so, you may usually choose either a bronze memorial or monument. Cremation niches in columbariums are also available at many cemeteries. They offer the beauty of a mausoleum setting with the benefits of above ground placement of remains. Many cemeteries also offer scattering gardens. This area of a cemetery offers the peacefulness of a serene garden where family and friends can come and reflect.
If you wish to have your ashes scattered somewhere, it is important to discuss your wishes to be scattered ahead of time with the person or persons who will actually have to do the cremation ashes scattering ceremony, as they might want to let your funeral professional assist in the scattering ceremony. Funeral directors can also be very helpful in creating a meaningful and personal ash scattering ceremony that they will customize to fit your families specific desires. The services can be as formal or informal as you like. Scattering services can also be public or private. Again, it is advisable to check for local regulations regarding scattering in a public place-your funeral director can help you with this.
Yes — Depending upon the cemetery's policy, you may be able to save a grave space by having the cremains buried on top of the casketed remains of your spouse, or utilize the space provided next to him/her. Many cemeteries allow for multiple cremated remains to be interred in a single grave space.
Uncertainty about income tax issues can add to the stress experienced from the death of a spouse. You should meet with your family attorney and/or tax advisor as soon as possible to review your particular tax and estate circumstances. Bring a detailed list of your questions to the meeting. If you do not have an attorney or tax advisor, call the IRS toll-free at 800-829-1040 for answers to specific tax questions.
There are a number of options available, including: